Step into the Scary

This week, I watched our daughter walk down the school halls for the last time. The school she has attended for 10 years. Eighth grade graduation was upon us. Yes, in many ways it happened in a blink of an eye and yet it was one foot in front of the other. Day after day of walking alongside her watching her bloom into the girl she has grown into. . So many memories, emotions and celebrations and yet one occurring theme. God’s provision. 

I remember pushing Joie on the swingset. The spring air was crisp and I knew before I wanted it, fall would bring a change as she would leave the day to day at home and start school. This decision loomed over me. Public school? Private School? Homeschool? Clearly this one decision, that rested on my shoulders, would make or break the woman she would become. ( Not much sarcasm)

All the pressure we put on ourselves sometimes is just so silly, So I did what any young fear filled mother would do, I picked the safest choice. Or better yet, my perception of the safest choice. Tucked away about 10 miles from our home was a sweet little Christian School. The 4K teacher met us. She was sweet, funny, with a warm demeanor who welcomed Joie with open arms.

 Check, check and check. Exhale.

Proverbs 16:9 

 “In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.” 

Within a week of having Joie registered, I was informed that due to unfortunate circumstances, that sweet school would be shutting its doors.  I had made my plans, but God would establish my steps. Our little public school sits 3 minutes from our house. God made it evident that this was where we needed to be and so with fear in my heart, we sent Joie into what felt like the Lions Den. Here’s the part that I missed. All this pressure I put on myself regarding this decision needed to be submitted to the Lord. My fears spoke louder than my faith and yet God is faithful and in His way reminded me, Jamie, you don’t send her in alone. God had her and has held her the last 10 years. 

The teachers that have come around her to encourage her, speak life into her and let her know when she’s not living up to her potential: God’s Provision. 

The people she calls friends. God’s provision

The people she doesn’t call friends: God’s provision

The people who have rallied around us when our family has gone through tough times: God’s provision. 

The reading, writing and arithmetic: God’s provision. 

The good, the bad and the ugly: God’s provision. 

So many years ago, I thought I was choosing the “safe choice” and what I’ve come to realize is that the safest choice is entrusting your children to a God who knows best. Make your plans, but know that when He changes them it’s for your good and His glory. Step into the scary and trust that if He puts you in the scary, He doesn’t leave you there alone. He will establish your steps.  

I’ve been asked “how are you feeling about her going into High School?” and to be honest those fears have tried to creep their way into my heart. Here’s what I know, the same God who has walked her through elementary and middle school is the same God who walks beside her in High School. God’s provision.

Thank you God for your provision. Thank you for revealing yourself to not only me but to my kids as they walk the day in and outs of this world. Thank you for your provision of protection, people and the peace of your presence. Thank you that as we celebrate all the excitement of graduation season, we give it all back to you.